How to last longer in bed
Reviewed by Dr Bhavini Shah
Premature ejaculation. Erectile dysfunction. Performance anxiety. All of these factors can stop us from lasting as long in bed as we’d like. But what can you do?
If you’re looking to last longer in bed, our guide covers:
- Understanding causes: Premature ejaculation (PE) and erectile dysfunction (ED) can stem from various factors, including medical conditions and performance anxiety.
- Natural techniques: Behavioural methods like the squeeze and stop-start techniques - along with counselling, communication and keeping a healthy lifestyle - can help improve sexual stamina naturally.
- Medical treatments: For more persistent issues, prescription treatments such as Sildenafil and Priligy are available options.
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Why can’t I last longer in bed?
There are many reasons why you might not last as long as you'd like in bed. At some point or another, most men experience this feeling. You could be experiencing performance anxiety, stress, premature ejaculation, or erectile dysfunction (if you find it difficult to get or maintain an erection during sex).
The good news is that there are behavioural changes, health tips, and in certain cases, even prescription treatments for premature ejaculation (PE) and erectile dysfunction (ED) that might help you last longer in bed.
“PE can be associated with erectile dysfunction (impotence), as well as cause significant patient distress and bother. Therefore it’s important to follow up with your GP to discuss this further.” – Dr Bhavini Shah
Premature ejaculation
Premature ejaculation (PE) is the most common ejaculation problem and one which affects most men at some point. Usually, PE is when you regularly ejaculate within a minute of penetration. However, if both parties are happy and fulfilled then there is nothing to worry about. On average, men are more likely than women to define an orgasm as ‘premature’.
Diagnosing PE can be tricky, as one person’s opinion of what counts as ‘premature’ might be different from another’s. But doctors usually define PE by three factors:
- Ejaculation which frequently occurs within one minute of penetration
- Men who have difficulty in controlling ejaculation
- Men who find sex frustrating or distressing and tend to avoid it
Common causes of premature ejaculation include:
- Prostate or thyroid problems
- Depression
- Stress
- Relationship problems
- Anxiety about sexual performance – especially when you start having sex, you’re with someone new or you’ve had problems with PE in the past
There are two types of PE – lifelong or acquired PE.
Prescription treatments for both types of PE can be found in our PE clinic.
Erectile dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is when you can’t achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sex. This can include losing your erection during sex. ED is a common condition, and, like PE, most men will experience it at some point. ED can often be a symptom of an underlying physical cause. It’s important to get checked by your GP to rule out a link to any underlying health conditions.
If you think you have ED, you can take a free online assessment through our ED clinic.
Performance anxiety
If you find yourself worrying about how long you’ll last in bed, then you could be suffering from performance anxiety - ‘nerves’, essentially. Practically every man will have experienced some form of performance anxiety, whether it's from external factors like poor body image or previous experience of PE or ED.
Normally it's nothing to worry about, but sometimes anxiety can develop into premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. If that’s the case there are a few options you can try, like experimentation, communication with your partner and medication. Consult our guide on performance anxiety and find out what works best for you.
Ways to last longer in bed
Whether you experience premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or whether you just want to hold out longer than you already do, here are some tips on how to last longer in bed:
- Foreplay - Sex is more than simply penetration. Foreplay can greatly increase the sexual experience in terms of both time and pleasure.
- Mental distraction - An old classic. During sex focus your attention on something non-erotic, such as times tables. This can reduce the enjoyment of the act itself but is often effective in delaying ejaculation.
- Slow down - Generally, the faster the man has sex, the quicker he ejaculates. Rapid, hard thrusts result in a faster climax. A slower, more measured technique means the penis tip is less stimulated and ejaculation delayed. It also allows for greater control over ejaculation.
- Masturbate - Masturbation is perfectly healthy and natural. Masturbating regularly can help build up your stamina and enable you to last longer during sex. You can also practice behavioural techniques while masturbating, so you are more comfortable using them during sex. The British Association of Urological Surgeons suggest that younger patients may benefit from masturbation before intercourse as it may result in desensitising the penis. This would potentially delay ejaculation.
- Condoms - Condoms decrease sensitivity and therefore usually increase the time taken to ejaculate. They also have the added bonus of preventing sexually transmitted disease and unwanted pregnancies.
- Communication - Make sure you let your partner know what works for you and what doesn’t. An open attitude towards sex should also relax you more and reduce the nerves that can cause quick ejaculation.
“Many patients assume ED treatment means medication like Viagra. But in actual fact, ED is primarily treated by tackling the underlying cause. This could mean lifestyle changes such as losing weight or psychological treatments including sex therapy. Other medications may also be recommended to treat the underlying medical cause.” – Dr Neel Patel
Behavioural techniques
There are several natural exercises to last longer in bed naturally that you can perform:
The squeeze technique
Squeezing the penis tip near climax to prevent ejaculation.
The stop-start technique
This involves reducing stimulation when nearing climax. Find out more about the stop-start technique.
How to last longer in bed naturally
While there are medical treatments for erectile dysfunction and behavioural techniques available to increase your time in bed, there are several methods and exercise to last longer in bed naturally:
| Method | How does it work? | Further info |
| Therapy and counselling | Premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction are often psychological. Counselling allows you to address the underlying issue - and can be combined with a medical regime that addresses the problem in the short-term. | Find out more about therapy for ED. |
| Kegel exercises | Pelvic floor exercises - often known as Kegels - can help manage erectile function. Practicing fast and slow Kegels 3-5 times a day can help build up and train your pelvic floor muscles. Strong muscles in this area can aid blood flow and increase control over ejaculation. | Find out more about Kegels for men. |
| Lifestyle and diet | Eating healthy and keeping active keeps your blood vessels in good health. This is important for ED as it’s essentially a blood flow issue. Replace lots of red meat, full fat diary and sugary foods with fruit and veg and you’re likely to be and feel much healthier. Excess alcohol consumption can also cause ED as it can be high in calories and sugar. Reduce your intake and help your chances to last longer. | Find out more about foods that affect ED. |
How to help your partner last longer in bed
What treatments are available?
Medical treatments for ED
A number of prescription treatments are available for erectile dysfunction such as Sildenafil as well as Tadalafil, Tadalafil Daily, Vardenafil, Viagra, Cialis, Spedra and Levitra. Essentially, they all help you gain and maintain an erection by increasing blood flow to your penis; helping you last longer in bed.
For more information and advice visit our ED online clinic.
Medical treatments for PE
Men who regularly experience PE or ED may find treatment is the best option. There are a number of easy, effective treatments for both conditions:
- Priligy is a prescription tablet which delays the chemical reactions that cause ejaculation. Taken orally 1-3 hours before sex, it has been shown to be very effective, working on around 8 out of 10 men.
- EMLA is a cream applied to the penis to desensitise nerve endings which are part of the ejaculation process. Although unlicensed as treatment for PE, EMLA is commonly prescribed and used with much success. Wash it off afterwards.
Are there ways to last longer in bed?
Premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction affect 20-30% of men. This is due to a range of factors – social, psychological, even medical. If you’re concerned about your health, please speak to your GP.
There are a many tactics, techniques and treatments to try if you’re looking to last longer in bed. These range from the squeeze technique to regular Kegel exercises. Even something as simple as clear communication can make a difference.
Request a consultation with our clinicians for advice and to see if a medical treatment for PE or ED is suitable and safe for you. Delivery is fast, free and discreet and collection options are available.
References
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ejaculation-problems/
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/erection-problems-erectile-dysfunction/
https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/can-premature-ejaculation-be-controlled/
https://patient.info/mens-health/penis-problems/premature-ejaculation
https://patient.info/mens-health/erectile-dysfunction-impotence
https://bjui-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1464-410X.2005.05690.x
https://www.baus.org.uk/patients/conditions/8/premature_ejaculation/
