From premature ejaculation to performance, the pressure on guys in the bedroom can be underestimated. Take some comfort in knowing that not only are these common concerns, they’re also relatively common, very treatable problems.
If your anxiety levels are overshadowing your amorous night in, take a deep breath and read on.
Anxiety levels sky high? Don’t stress
Did you know that around 1 in 10 men in the UK have an issue related to having sex, such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation? For many men, this pressure can quickly have a psychological effect, and may lead to performance anxiety and, over time, stress and anxiety can lead to difficulty in getting or maintaining an erection. While this can leave you feeling self-conscious, it is worth noting that most men will experience an erection problem at least once during their lifetime.
Practically speaking, alcohol, smoking, illegal drugs and some prescription medicines can also cause erectile problems, so it’s worth bearing in mind if you know any of these might be an issue. In some circumstances, erectile problems can be the first symptom of other medical conditions, so it’s best to get checked out by your GP to establish whether there is an underlying cause.
On a more complex note, our minds can play havoc with our manhood and the inability to achieve or maintain an erection can be much more psychological. While easier said than done, try not to overthink this. When you become anxious, your heart rate increases and your body releases stress hormones – adrenaline and noradrenaline which can increase blood pressure which can also have an impact on erectile dysfunction.
It’s a vicious cycle, but one which can be broken. Try following our top tips to help put your mind at rest and put the romance back into your relationship.
Worry less, talk more
Quite simply, talk to your partner. Being open with them can be the first step to overcoming your worries, and can even bring you closer as a couple. Your partner may be feeling similar anxieties but afraid to mention them to you. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved.
Swap sex for seduction
Explore one another. Take the emphasis away from intercourse and focus on pleasuring one another in other ways. Couple’s massage, taking turns to please each other or sharing a bath together can help to maintain the intimacy in your relationship and take away some of the pressure.
Help is at hand
Don’t forget, erectile dysfunction is very much a treatable condition, and there are lots of different medications available. These medications can help with getting and maintaining an erection. They can also, in some cases more importantly, help to restore self-confidence in the bedroom.
There are plenty of treatments available to order from LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor. These include short-term solutions that take effect in just 15 minutes, and long-term solutions that work over an extended period of time. We also have options for people who suffer from long-term health conditions such as diabetes.
Want to find out more? Visit our Erectile Dysfunction Clinic for more information.
Premature ejaculation playing on your mind? Don’t panic
So what is premature ejaculation and what defines it as an issue? Occasional episodes of premature ejaculation, uncontrolled ejaculating either before or shortly after sexual penetration are common, nothing to worry about and can often be explained by circumstance; for example, if you have a new partner or haven’t had sex for a while.
However, if you’re busy worrying that you can’t last as long as you should in the bedroom, welcome to the club. This is something that most, if not all men have done at some stage. Start by asking yourself whether you are simply comparing yourself to unrealistic expectations. Any time after 60 seconds is considered normal for ejaculation, and a study of 500 men found that the average time they lasted was 5 and a half minutes—perhaps shorter than you might expect.
If both partners are happy, there’s no set time for how long sex should last. If you find you are ejaculating prematurely at least half of the time, we’re here to help. For information or advice visit our Premature Ejaculation Clinic.
Alternatively, there are a number of behavioural techniques you can try. For more information read our How to overcome Premature Ejaculation post.
Anti-Climax: The art of letting go
Women can feel just as anxious about sexual performance as men. This can be caused by any number of issues; from a lack of body confidence, to concerns about climaxing and performance. For a woman, anxiety can cause tension and a reduction in lubrication, which, by nature makes it more physically difficult to have sex. Anxiety may also affect a woman’s desire to make love and make it more difficult to achieve an orgasm. Lubricants are a great option if dryness is an issue, and for some people can actually heighten the sexual experience.
Concentrate on you
In an internet age, there’s more and more pressure put on us all to look a certain way. It’s easy to look at an image in the media and feel inadequate, but it’s important to remember that these images are not ‘real’ and are very likely to have been photo-shopped. In reality, we all come in different shapes and sizes, and find different things attractive in a partner. Try to let go of your preconceived ideas and embrace your unique beauty. Talk to your partner about your insecurities – if they are someone you love and trust then they are likely to be understanding. You may even discover they like the bits you were worried about.
A happy and healthy sex life is something to be enjoyed by everyone, right through into your twilight years.
For tips and tricks on how to put the spark back into your sex life, visit our Men’s Health Clinic for a discrete online consultation.
1. NHS Choices – https://www.nhs.uk/livewell/goodsex/pages/malesexualdysfunction.aspx
2. NHS Choices – https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/erection-problems-erectile-dysfunction/
3. NHS Choices – https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ejaculation-problems/